Most smart people often struggle a great deal with finding true, lasting love.

Here are three reasons why they struggle.

Reason One

  • Smart people struggle with love is that they possess the double-edged sword of being able to think their way in and out of everything (aka, get stuck in analysis paralysis). 
  • That means that on the first date if they are so inclined, they can mentally pick someone apart and pre-assume half a dozen ways that this person wouldn't be a good long-term fit for them.
  • While there's nothing wrong with disqualifying someone from being a fit on the first date... intelligent people can over-index on this strategy in a way that they get to remain emotionally safe, and closed off to the world.
  • Long-term? That strategy is a no-brainer... and just keeps these people feeling isolated and alone.

Reason Two

  • Smart people’s intelligence can bleed over into arrogance, and that can overly limit their dating pool in a way that isn't necessarily true.
  • When you receive significant, ongoing validation for this one specific personal gift, it's easy to begin to make it a core part of your identity.
  • This leads you to believe that you need to have a partner who matches, meets, or exceeds that same gift, manifested in the exact same way.

    Because... what if you're intellectually smart... and your potential partner is a genius in another realm? For example, socially, emotionally, with a physical embodiment, with physical creation, financially, or in relation to the earth.

    Bear in mind that there's more than one kind of genius in the world, and they all carry their own unique weight and serve different purposes.

Reason three

  • That smart people struggle with love is that they are overly in their heads and disconnected from their bodies.
  • Ultimately, love is about truth. And not just the scientific, analytical kind of truth that comes from the mind, but a deeper truth, that kind of truth that you can feel all the way through your body. Unfortunately, people who can't feel much of anything below their necklines experience a highly limited version of love.

Do you see yourself in any or all of the above three symptoms... what can you do about it?


  • Every strength comes hand-in-hand with its attendant weakness. 
    In other words, there are two sides to every coin.
  • Integrate the other side of the three things mentioned above.
    Instead of living trapped in your head... do the work of becoming more physically and emotionally embodied.
  • Instead of hovering above others from a place of overt or covert arrogance... come back down to earth and learn to appreciate a wider spectrum of personal gifts (i.e. there are many different forms of intelligence).
  • Instead of thinking your way out of every possible connection and drowning in neuroticism,  feel into the deeper truth of your body, see how it feels when you are with your new/potential mate, and trust into that deeper, truer layer of reality.



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