When you lose your loved ones, the void will always be there. They are never replaceable. Grief is like a flu, you have to let it take its course in your life.
I have heard people say time heals, is this true?
I don’t think so. If time healed the wounds then we would not be talking about unresolved grief that has paralyzed a lot of people in the world today. Trust me I have been there where I thought I was ok but ended up having a confrontation at work, which had the possibility of getting very messy. I was triggered by my previous pain and took that out on other people. Looking back it was because I could not control my emotions and thought I was being attacked.
This happens when we overlook the fact that we need help to heal our past.
HOW DOES UNRESOLVED GRIEF GROW
When you avoid or don’t deal and face your grief it accumulates into baggage called UNRESOLVED GRIEF.
When you pretend that everything is ok
You remain in denial of your loss or breakup, you think the partner cannot mean that they don’t love you anymore, then when you see them with someone else you get reinjured again. MOVE ONE!!!!
You continue masking your pain and lie that you are FINE and turn into a superwoman!!!
EFFECTS OF UNRESOLVED GRIEF
- It piles up and builds into baggage. Imagine carrying your suitcase in your heart, what baggage looks and feels like.
- It narrows your thinking and fear gets bigger and greater because you have these triggers that continue to haunt you everywhere you, and in your sleep too, you have nightmares, you are always on guard thinking that people will hurt you.
- Choices become harder because you are scared that you might be hurt again.
- You have trust issues, still think someone will because you pain like before, you can’t let people get close you, hard to make and keep friends)
- Short-tempered and very irate (don’t go there with me, stop pushing my buttons).
- Turns into depression because you become an emotional cripple, you bury your head in the sand and never think you can ever heal again.
- Cannot have lasting romantic relationships, at the back you mind you would rather break up with a person before they break up with you just to keep yourself safe, even someone if trying to show how good and serious they are, especially if you have been heartbroken or divorced before.
- Creates dysfunctional relationships if both partners have unresolved grief, because your pain has been resolved you will learn to trust again, to love again, and learn to be vulnerable to being loved and you not be too protective of yourself to a point that you build walls around you.
- You lie to yourself that there is nothing like healing after grieving and as a result you might prevent other people from healing too because of your negative talk and influence.
- It causes anger issues, very bad moods, short/hot-tempered, and irritability.
- Causes of confusion, disorganization, eating disorders, bitterness, resentment, continued emptiness, extreme loneliness, always blame-shifting, very sad all the time, walk with your head down.
Grief is not the end of the world, whether it’s from a heartbreak, bereavement or divorce.