There is no denying that the world of online dating has completely revolutionized the way we go about finding romance and companionship in our culture today. Whether you are a “digital dating” veteran or just getting your feet wet in the online matchmaking scene, these ten tips will set you up for success and (hopefully) lead you to your future partner!
Not Knowing What You Want – It’s hard to date if you’re unsure of what you want. Many people go into online dating frustrated and lonely, causing them to lower their standards for companionship. As you begin to date, you may have a small list of absolutes that will help you decide who you would actually like to meet beyond the messaging back-and-forth. If you date someone and they behave in a way that turns you off, note that and add it to your profile so that you don’t do it again.
Not Asking the Right Questions – When you date people, you need to ask them questions about themselves. For example, if you’re a young woman who doesn’t want to date someone who has a child, ask them if they have kids before you even go on the first date.
Not Listening to Your Inner Voice – Everyone has a little inner voice that tells them things and gives them feedback about other people. Many of us do not listen to this inner voice. When you go on a date, pay attention to how you feel and any signals that you may get from your inner voice. Even if it seems illogical, that voice knows more than you think.
Not Being Honest – You might think that you will turn off prospects if you’re honest about your situation. In short, portraying yourself as someone you are not will almost always lead to mismatches and disappointment for yourself and your potential partners.
Posting Only Your Best Photo – This is similar to #4, but you might think you should post only your very best photo to put yourself in the best light. Post pictures that show how you really look on a typical day. Not only will this lead to you feeling comfortable and confident to meet up with potential partners, but if someone doesn’t like how you really look, they’re not worth wasting your time on anyways!
Not Reading Profiles – It’s shocking how many people only look at photos to choose a date. Don’t be that person. Read the profiles to find out if you might like them and if you think you can make an actual connection.
Not Joining Paid Dating Sites – Generally speaking, paid dating sites will typically be a lot better than free ones. You might not want to shell out the money, but the “paying” part weeds out a lot of people and usually provides a greater chance that your potential partners are as serious about finding companionship as you are.
Not Meeting in Person Sooner – Don’t waste time talking to someone for months on end via chat or text. Instead, message for a bit, and if they seem like a connection, move it to voice or video call, and then ask for a date. The sooner you meet in person, the better, as this will help determine the relationship’s actual long-term chemistry.
Not Writing a Bio or Having a Boring Profile – Your bio and description of yourself are what will set you apart from the myriads of profile pictures on the screen. It will set you up to meet people who are actually interested in everything else about you beyond your looks. This will give you a greater chance for authentic connection and companionship.
Giving Up Too Soon – Try not to let one mismatched date or awkward messaging experience ruin the opportunity for you to meet another person. It can be frustrating to put yourself out there multiple times and not find a connection, but, thankfully, there are A LOT of fish in the sea! Rather than getting burned-out or discouraged and completely quitting the online dating game, maybe take a small break to focus more on yourself.
GOOD LUCK WITH ONLINE DATING !
Your Coach Rosemary